Mamoru
by Gein
Summary: Gein thinks about his feelings for Enishi and what Enishi is to him. This is a shonen-ai story so...no read if no like! ^.^


Okay...(blushes) Uuuuhhh...the little voice in my head told me to write this, so don't be mean!! (chibi Souzou is hurled at Gein) HEY!! Well...this is a shonen-ai fic about..(takes breath) Hey, "Journey" just started playing! "Hen desu ione? Shishio-san.." AAAHHH! Cute! Alright...this is probably the first fic for this pairing in the world...GeinXEnishi. (a laugh track turns on) Hey, I LIKE the pairing, alright? (calms down) Aaaahh..."Journey" has always made me happy! Yup, as everyone knows RK is the property of Watsuki-sensei and Shueisha, and this is for entertainment only. Anyway, read ficcie! Read ficcie now!!  
  
Loving From Afar  
  
Enishi. He is strange, but I must say in a good way. I can tell easily what he is up to, and he'll still think I know nothing about it. I know why he has us; why he pretends to need us. Just as bait, as pawns in his sweet but deadly game called Revenge. He's lost, he needs help. But he will never open up because he feels the only person in his life that can help him is Tomoe. That's who put him where he is today.  
Hate. That's what motivates him to do these things. Because his hate many times gets the best of him, he's unpredictable. His hate keeps him from loving others except his sister, and that's different. His sister's the reason he turned this way; into a senile, devious person. His hate overpowers him so he can't love anyone really. When he tries to love all that comes out is obsession, and that's just for his sister. I wish he was that fond of me.  
I. What do I have to do with him? I joined him just because he wanted me to; because he needed another pawn, more bait in order to kill the Battousai. I knew this all along, yet I wish to help him, no matter what the cost. He's lost, and he needs help. I feel this may be the only way to help him. To play along, to make him think he's right. The sad part is, soon he'll find out what he has been doing, and he'll fall apart. I wish to be there to comfort him when he does. However, the feelings are one sided.  
Love. Something Enishi had once, but threw away. Now all that reamins is obsession, but only one person. Love is the way I feel for Enishi, but he'll never feel that way for me. I wish one day I could tell him how I feel, but I'm positive it'll never happen. He feels nothing towards me, and besides, who would ever want me? The love in this case is definitely one-sided, but it won't stop me from feeling this way. After all, Enishi never even cared whether I died or not; everything he feels is directed at Tomoe or the Battousai. No love has ever been felt for me.  
Rejection. Lastly, this is how I feel when it comes to my loving him. The one person he loves is Tomoe. Tomoe, the person he would give his life for, and would always look up to. Not me. Not the man who was just a pawn. Not Gein, the mechanical artist. He'll never change the way he feels about me, and neither will I. While it's a hopeless dream I have, the dream of Enishi actually caring about me, I will not give up.   
Protect. He never loved me, yet my love will keep me by his side and I will try to protect him along the way. I will help him. I will try my best to guide him, to somehow be comforting. I will love him from afar, watching with silent admiration at just how strong his love can be. Maybe one day he'll develop a fondness for me, and maybe he won't treat me like I was just bait, just a pawn. I will keep on hoping and until then I will protect him. I will protect him for his own sake, and mine. But since he doesn't love me, I wil protect him for the one person he loves. I will protect you so that one day, you'll be able to see Tomoe, the one person you loved so much you sacrificed your real life for, and maybe that will give me comfort; that in the end my love for you was for a good reason:   
When you see Tomoe again, the smile on your face will be all the love I need.  
OWARI  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
Well....how was that? (tomatoes hurled at Gein) It was weird, I know. But I'm honored it was the first GeinXEnishi fic in the world!! YAY!! *digs up corpses and flings them at passerbys in happiness* And all ye merrymen, be sure to send me questions, comments, flames, I'm fine with anything, kay?! ^^ Behold, the laughing face!! Anyway, if you want to e-mail me go to my author bio and you'll see my e-amil address! Or you can write a review and tell me how it is, okay? ^.^ Anyway, pleeeeze tell me what pairing you'd like to see in a future fic, and I'll write it!! 'Neeways, thanks for reading!!   
Ja!~Gein  
"A fruitless struggle. Die quietly, you fool."--Gein to Aoshi   
  
  



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